Friday, May 11, 2012

Sick Boy Bummers

B has asthma. It gets pretty crazy sometimes: trying to take care of his needs, our needs as a family, keep my sanity. Yesterday he relapsed and we needed to take him in for  oxygen and steroids (Bleg. Steroids. Don't they know I want grandbabies?!?). So, this week we will be needing to give him frequent and regular nebulizer treatments, which he hates. We're lucky to get him a treatment when he's having an attack, honestly.

Today something very special happened! This morning we made cookies for Mother's Day to give to my Grandma when she comes to visit. I gave Brennan a cookie as we sat down for a treatment. I thought, "Maybe if I reward him, he'll stay on my lap." We were about 10 minutes late to start his treatment, so I was pretty much willing to do anything to get him to sit with me for 10 minutes. We flipped on some Sid the Science Kid, sat down with the nebulizer and turned it on. I put the mask over his face. Here is the novel part: he didn't push me away. In fact, he took a bite of cookie, stuck his face in the mask, and told me about his medicine.

"Momma, my may-sine make my tummy feel all better," he says pointing to his chest.

As we continued with his treatment, he even took his own turn holding the mask. At the end, cookie got some Albuterol too.

Words cannot express how grateful I am for this experience. For a year, I have been fighting him for every single treatment. All of the screaming, and crying, and working him into a greater attack just to treat the original symptoms: it's stressful. Most of the time, I would rock him to sleep, slip his anti-static chamber over his face, and sneak some Albuterol into his system so he'd stop wheezing. Now that he understands his noisy little panda bear helps him, our lives will become a little more peaceful.

I'm so proud of this little sugar bean. I cannot count the nights I have stayed up all night with him just praying and hoping he will make it until morning. I know that there are many of those nights to come, but I am so happy today. I am so grateful that I will have the ability to peacefully help his little lungs relax. I'm grateful that it will be less of a fight to make him feel better. I'm grateful for movies and snuggles at 3am. I am so grateful for modern medecine. I don't know what mommas did before they could help their little ones.

Sunday, May 6, 2012

I love you, Matty

My husband's birthday was this last Thursday. I started the day out giving him a Nerf gun and 3 darts that read "Thank You." He proceeded throughout his day (he works for a family business) being shot by anyone and everyone with whom he came into contact. Each dart shot at Matt finished the sentence "I love you because..." My favorite two, which I believe were written by Kelsey Huff and my grandma, read "Mad Scientist," and, "You're a hunk." I saved 50 darts for myself to shoot at him. It had me thinking about the incredible person he is and what I love about him. I want to share just a few of the reasons I am SO proud to wake up every morning and call myself his wife.

I love him (in no particular order) because:

1. He's kind. 

Let me put this into perspective. Before I fell for Matt, I guess I was into the "bad guy." I dated guys who liked to fight, swear, break the rules, and all of that boring stuff. Let me tell you what that did for me: 1. It made me uncomfortable. 2. It got me stalked. So finding Matt (6'8" of snuggly teddy goodness) was truly the highlight of a positive note for my life. He is the kind of person who just kind of loves and accepts everyone. 

2. He's smart. 

Why, hello, Mr. Chemist. His memory is near photographic. He's not one of those debating, English, philosopher, I-know-everything-because-I'm-better-than-you kinds of smart. He's the kind of smart where he and I can sit down and have a conversation about the physiology of the body. He breaks down the chemistry, I break down the medical terminology, and together we actually have a good time doing this. (I know, I know, this is the part where 90% of everyone who is going to read this says, "THANK GOODNESS you two found each other. That sounds boring as hell). He's the kind of smart that remembers random (and totally useless) facts and busts them out when he sees fit. He's the kind of smart that remembers song lyrics and sings them years after the last time he heard the song because a situation reminds him of said lyrics. He's the kind of smart, that is intelligence and not pride. I love that about him. He doesn't need to make sure everyone knows just how well he is educated, but he does hold the capability to have a compelling conversation when the opportunity arises.

3. He is faithful. 

We are LDS. To learn more about our beliefs, click here. He is the boat that keeps us afloat in our crazy lives. Because of his eagerness to be faithful and hold the priesthood, in the middle of the night when I'm freaking out because our youngest has stopped breathing and I'm just sure this is the end (again), he may step in with a blessing for our child and for the comfort of our family. His faithfulness sparks my faithfulness and vice versa. We are a beacon of strength to one another. Without his faith, my faith wouldn't be what it is because my faith is partially based on my faith in him. 

4. He's handsome.

Alright. We knew this was coming. Look at those pictures (and excuse the long overdue haircut). The man is 6'8" for heavens sake. Not to mention he's tan, brunette, fearsomely strong, and with those bright blue and yellow color changing eyes... my, my. That is one handsome man. 

5. He is gentle.

You might think that this goes hand in hand with kind, but the two can be rather different. One can be kind without meaning. The gentleness of Matt's heart ensures that everyone with whom he will come in contact with feel the peacefulness of him. He is gentle with everyone from me, to our boys, to Prince (his family's dog). We went to see The Avenger's this weekend, and a couple brought a little girl (somewhere between the age of one and two) to the movie. She kept peeking between our seats and playing with Matt. She would stand behind him and play with his hair. While most people would be annoyed if not enraged by this, Matt had fun returning the playful fun. He didn't even passively speak loudly, as he sometimes does, about the inappropriateness of the movie for a baby. He just acted as though he felt blessed. 

6. He is the BEST father in the world.

Let's be honest, we all lose it a little bit as parents. With Matt, the losing it comes few and far between. He greets our children with kindness, soft, but firm discipline, and love. He consistently reminds our boys that they are loved, they are smart, and they are his. He goes above and beyond to make them laugh. He will take them out for Fro Yo the night after buying them a slushy because "they earned it." He's teaching them to work hard, to love, and live in his example. He is incredible. In the morning when he leaves, he always says, "Bye, boys. Love you." Every day they say in return, "I love you too, Daddy." (Our boys are pretty conservative with those "I love yous"). The beautiful part about it is that they really do love him, and it really does show. 

These are only 6 of the 51 things I wrote down. There is so much to love about Matt. I did include a couple of nonsense darts like, "you're my favorite Dragon lover," and "You're the best, I win," but what would a birthday game be without a couple of inside jokes? I'm proud that I am comfortable to say that I love him and that he will be my husband, my best friend, forever.

I love you, Matty.